I love zombie shit. It’s almost always a good time, I love seeing the different variations of takes on the genres, I love when an interesting new spin is put it. But also. I hate zombie shit. Because so often it’s just really dumb. We tell the same three stories over and over and never do anything new. It doesn’t make sense half the time. When it’s bad, it’s just an excuse for stock characters to mow down guys in bad makeup without feeling bad.
This one’s both. All the things I love about zombie shit and all the things that exasperate me about it. Now, to give the movie it’s due: I accidentally watched the Catalan dub for half the movie. The English dub was extremely bad, and Catalan was the next language down. Because I don’t know which languages are spoken in what parts of Spain, I assumed it was the right one! I didn’t notice til an extremely beautiful old man showed up (José María Yazpik, apparently. Please google him and you will understand why I was paying more than half attention suddenly.) and I thought ‘no way does he sound like that.’ So I switched to Spanish and suddenly the acting got way better! So like, no comments on the acting from me, because any complaints there were my bad.
My complaints are all story based anyways. The biggest problem with zombie stuff, and really any post apocalyptic, is it doesn’t do anything new. We tell the same three stories over and over and don’t plumb new depths. And I’m gonna be honest. This one fell into some of my most hated traps.
First, the dead wife stuff. We don’t need dead wives in zombie movies anymore. It’s played out. It’s over. It’s a cheap play to make us sympathize with a guy. They introduced this woman, had her start an argument about how he didn’t want kids, and killed her off in a car accident directly caused by this argument. Dumb!
Second, the old lady in the wheelchair subplot. Started strong! Our intrepid protagonist, Manel, befriends the only other person who didn’t relocate to a government quarantine camp, an old lady in a wheelchair who couldn’t physically get onto the relocation bus. They strike up a lovely friendship and when they get word of a possible gathering place to get to a safe haven, he promises to get her there.
And then she kills herself as not to be a burden. Like dead wives, disabled people killing themselves to not be burdens in the apocalypse is played out. It’s over. I’ve seen it before. Don’t you want to write something new? Even if you aren’t interested in roles disability can play in an apocalypse narrative, aren’t you bored? Can’t you imagine something more compelling than this?
Third, and maybe most damning, the zombies were the worst part of this. We learn early on that the virus has mutated to make people turn in a matter of minutes. Already dumb. And then! They’re fast zombies! I know this is a debate but I do think zombies should be slow, and zombie viruses should work slow. It is about the inevitability of death, and the fear of being overcome by something slow moving and unstoppable. Fast zombies are just goofy.
In fact, this would have been better as not a zombie movie. Some other apocalypse. Because when it was good, it was so good. The early portions of the film are brilliant, really claustrophobic renderings of a society collapsing. Manel goes to the airport to get to his sister at the Canary Islands where they are with other government officials, right when the boarders close and chaos spreads at the airport. He gets stuck in a miles long traffic jam and listens to increasingly terrifying news broadcasts. He gets body checked by an old man in a supermarket over a pack of flatbread. He sits and scrolls through zombie tiktoks as apocalyptic news broadcasts play in the background. It’s very, very good, and none of it was dependent on the zombies.
And the zombies suck. There was a point about halfway through the movie that I almost turned it off. Manel makes his way to the harbor, where the boat that he has left sitting unused for a year due to dead wife reasons should be. It’s gone, of course, a running motif here is Manel thinking he’s finally found his salvation and realizing he’s gotten himself into a way worse situation, which is used to dazzling effect every time. Anyways he finds a different boat, opens a door and finds. A zombie baby.
At which I said ‘dumb!’ out loud to my screen and paused it to go get some cookies. I came back ready for them to at least imply zombie infanticide but no. He steals the lifeboat instead. If you’re gonna do a zombie baby you should at least commit.
But I do want to commend the movie for the stuff I liked. The bit where he zooms past the military barriers and the decimated quarantine camp is shown? Legitimate chills. The dirt bike chase was cool even if I do hate fast zombies. Everything from the time Manel gets on the pirate boat on rules, especially his friendship with Viktor, the sexy old man I mentioned earlier. If I was writing this I would make them fall in love because man the chemistry in the scenes between them. Viktor killing a guy with a rope for Manel! Manel basically carrying him into the hospital!
Manel’s history as a diver was used to delightful effect too. He wards off zombie bites with his shark proof wetsuit, kills zombies with a spearfishing gun, and most delightful of all, when carrying a previously wounded Viktor into the hospital, uses those glow sticks divers on shipwrecks use to light up surroundings to look for hazards to see if there’s any zombies around. That was awesome! That was something new!
I won’t even begrudge the nurse who kills zombies with an ax and the cute little girls, because the movie doesn’t force a romance with the nurse or make Manel say he wished he had had kids with his wife. Instead, he he mostly concerned with helping the children make friends with his cat, who he’s been carrying around this whole time, a really interesting and really human limitation on the zombie fighting that I really jived with.
And of course, the ending. Manel finally is on his way to the Canary Islands, finally gets in touch with his sister, after all his false starts and setbacks and….she begs him not to come. Fighter jets fly over head. Hope might be lost but it sure isn’t where Manel thinks it is! And then the movie ends! On a gut punch cliff hanger! And, I think, I loved that. Yes! Make me doubt! Leave them there, in the helicopter over the sea, unsure where to go or how! Ambiguous, unclear endings forever!
So, was this good? I have no idea. I had fun! But it’s also so, so stupid sometimes. Should you watch it? I think yes! I have incredibly high standards with this stuff because I love it so much but most people don’t. If you aren’t someone who could write five pages of zombie opinions, you will not even notice most the things I am complaining about. Just make sure you watch it in Spanish and not the Catalan dub bc you don’t pay good attention to such things.
Signing off,
Marlowe
Marlowe Writes 